THE DRUMMER. ACT I. SCENE I. A great Hall. Enter the Butler, Coachman, and Gardener. BUTLER. THERE came another coach to town last night, that brought a gentleman to inquire about this strange noise we hear in the house. This spirit will bring a power of custom to the George- -If so be he continues his pranks, I design to sell a pot of ale, and set up the sign of the drum. COACHMAN. I'll give madam warning, that's flat-I've always liv'd in sober families. I'll not disparage myself to be a servant in a house that is haunted. GARDENER. I'll e'en marry Nell, and rent a bit of ground of my own if both of you leave Madam; not but Madam's a very good woman- -if Mrs. Abigail did not spoil her-Come, here's her health. BUTLER. It's a very hard thing to be a butler in a house that is disturb'd. He made such a racket in the cellar last night, that I'm afraid he'll sour all the beer in my barrels. COACHMAN. we can. Here's to you Why then, John, we ought to take it off as fast as -He rattled so loud under the tiles last night, that I verily thought the house would have fallen over our heads. I durst not go up into the cock-loft this morning, if I had not got one of the maids to go along with me. GARDENER. I thought I heard him in one of my bed-postsI marvel, John, how he gets into the house when all the gates are shut. BUTLER. Why, look ye, Peter, your spirit will creep you into an auger-hole-he'll whisk you through a key-hole, without so much as justling against one of the wards. COACHMAN. Poor Madam is mainly frighted, that's certain; and verily believes it is my master that was kill'd in the last campaign. BUTLER. Out of all manner of question, Robin, 'tis Sir George Mrs. Abigail is of opinion it can be none but his honour: he always lov'd the wars; and you know was mightily pleas'd from a child with the music of a drum. GARDENER. I wonder his body was never found after the battle. BUTLER. Found! why, you fool, is not his body here about the house? Dost thou think he can beat his drum without hands and arms? COACHMAN. "Tis Master, as sure as I stand here alive; and I verily believe I saw him last night in the town-close. GARDENER. Ay! how did he appear? COACHMAN. Like a white horse. BUTLER. Pho, Robin, I tell you he has never appear'd yet but in the shape of the sound of a drum. COACHMAN. This makes one almost afraid of one's own shadow, As I was walking from the stable t'other night, without my lantern, I fell across a beam that lay in my way, and faith my heart was in my mouth-I thought I had stumbled over a spirit. BUTLER. Thou might'st as well have stumbled over a straw. Why a spirit is such a little thing, that I have heard a man, who was a great scholar, say, that he'll dance a Lancashire hornpipe upon the point of a needleAs I sat in the pantry last night counting my spoons, the candle methought burnt blue, and the spay'd bitch look'd as if she saw something. COACHMAN. Ay, poor cur! she's almost frighten'd out of her wits. GARDENER. Ay, I warrant ye, she hears him many a time and often when we don't. BUTLER. My lady must have him laid, that's certain, whatever it cost her. GARDENER. I fancy, when one goes to market, one might hear of somebody that can make a spell. COACHMAN. Why may not the parson of our parish lay him? |