THE

ETONIAN.

N. VI.

The King of Clubs.

SCENE-THE CLUB-ROOM.

THE PRESIDENT PROLOGUIZES FROM THE CHAIR.

I Love Variety; no Book
From me obtains a second look,
In which I vainly seek to find
This Salt, this Pepper of the mind :
And ought that savours of precision,
Of sameness, or of repetition,
With more than Editorial hate
I scorn, detest, abominate.
Ergo, whereas the Reader knows
That'Volume I. began in prose;
I think I'll change my note this time-
And-Volume II. begins in rhyme.
My friends—I vote bim Prosy quite,

Wbo speaks one word of Prose to-night. (Members testify astonishment. O'Connor opens his mouth wide-Musgrave shuts his close-Lozell nods with assent— Burton with drowsiness.-Oakley takes out his tablets, and appears to be working hard.) Montgomery." I love to hear a clever rhymer rhyming

In learned measure, eloquent and strong!” Golightly. I love to hear a faulty timer timing

His horrid cadence, dissonant and wrong!" Montgomery. Good Poetry's the noblest thing on Earth! Golightly. “ Bad is a strong Provocative to mirth;

And, when a fool is sentimentalizing,”-
Sterling “ Order! the worthy President is rising.",
Courtenay. “ My friends! I need not dwell upon

The vast success of Volume I;
Suffice it, that its tout ensemble
Has made our worst revilers tremble;
That Censure owns at last she's wrong,
And Scandal almost holds her tongue.

Howbeit, midst our wreath of bays,
There sprout some

BRAMBLES OF DISPRAISE ;
Which, when the precious leaves we snatch,
Ipflict a most delightfal scratcb;
Too soft to make us cry about it,
And—we might go to sleep without it.
Here is a “ Senex,' cold and grave,
Quite pazzled by the Knight and Knave;
And thinking that it's all a flam'
About our Publisher and Pam.
Then here's a little pote from Jessy,
Who can't abide that Sober Essay!
* A Fourth-form' thinks, 'tis best by fan
To stick to the vernacular ;
Our Muse goes limping on a patten,
Whene'er she's running after Latin.
• Amicus' is in monstrous pique
Because he isn't' up to Greek.”
As Gerard said, the other day,

Och! sure it's very clear, oh!
Non intelligibilia

Sed intellectum fero."
“ Order! order! a Bull, a Bull!”
“ I'd knock you down, but my mouth is full,"
“ Myvi aerde"
“ I differ.'

" Some beer.**
“ Silence ! hark to the Chairman!"-( Hear!)*
My head feels a sort of a dizziness,

I've written and spoke till it aches ;
So before we proceed to our business,

We'll finish this dish of

O'Connor.

Chorus. O'Connor. Swinburne. Oakley. Nesbit. Chorus. Courtenay.

66

BEER-STEAKS.

Rowley

“ I love a steak !- proudly it sweeps along;

Whether the kitchen broileth it or frieth,

And Punsters tell that oftentimes it crieth,
“Chaucer, oh! Chaucer !?-He was Lord of song
In Britain! Wrapt in doublet and in rhyme,

He walk'd the ear Metropolis, and tasted

Of meats multigenous, bak'd, broild, and basted in
The pride of Taverns in that ancient time.
I wish that I could rhyme like him of old,

I wish that I could eat the food he eat;

But stop, Thalia, for you want a whet;
The reader's tird-the steaks are getting coldf
Stop ! for my own, and for the reader's, sake;
But oh! I'm very partial to a steak,!.”