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THE

PERTH MAGAZINE,

OF

KNOWLEDGE AND PLEASURE.

FRIDAY, JULY 2. 1773.

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S the indulgence of the public has ever been my happiness, their countenance my fupport, and patronage my protection, I cannot help taking this opportunity of exprefling, at once, my grateful acknowledgment of former, and entreating a prefent token of renewed favour.--The public are, long ago, fully convinced of the advantages which do, and may arife from the encouragement of the art of Printing; it is almost unneceffary for me to trouble them with mentioning, how my expectations of rifing above the conftant train of difficulties, which have hitherto attended me, (in the establishment of a Printing Office in this place) were buoyed up at the first publication of the Perth Magazine, or how every folid hope feemed difappointed upon its decline:-this will be obvious, if they confider how fpecious the profpect was, of its fuccefs at the commencement; befides, the additional apparatus which I found myself under the neceffity of purchafing, at my own expence, in order to execute it to advantage, must be thrown into difufe and the hands, employed at confiderable charge, and for that purpofe, must be retained idle, or ungracefully difmiffed, if the publication drops: notwithstanding, however, fuch is the

VOL. V.

I C.

cafe, and fuch my fituation. Since the former Publisher has entirely given up the care of publishing, and carrying on the Magazine, I humbly purpose, thro' the indulgence of the Public, to continue it; and fhall be extremely happy, if, by the affiftance of fome judicious friends, who have engaged to fuperintend the work, and my own affiduity, I may have it in my power to give fatis. faction. Nor do I defpair of being able to furnish fuch materials as fhall render the performance not inferior to most of the periodical productions of the kind, now in repute. And at the fame time,let me obferve to the Public, (whose rational entertainment I fhall conftantly have in my view,) that while I undertake to furnish and collect whatever is valuable or curious, in the best periodi cal publications in Britain, I warmly requeft, nay, I not a little depend on the affiftance of former correfpondents, and others whofe genius and opportu nities have put it in their power to contribute, both to its fuccefs and the public good.-Mean while, I affure them, that ill natured disputes, or trifling and uninterefting fubjects, thall carefully be guarded against; at the fame time that points of controverfy, which may be ju diciously handled, and have a tendency to inform the understanding, or better A

the

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the heart, fhall meet with the utmoft lings and fix-pence in a year, the pub-
impartiality.
lic can have all the remarkable news,
in this Magazine, as cheap as one of
the news-papers cofts at Edinburgh,
when called for.

This first number is prefented to the Public, as a specimen of what they may expect for the future, and, with becoming deférence to their judgments, I am,

Particular attention fhall be paid to
whatever effays, &c. may be adapted
to convey instruction or amufement; and
well authenticated, fcarce hiftorical
narratives and anecdotes, with curious
and useful discoveries in natural hifto
ry, and obfervations on the arts and
fciences, fhall be examined with can-
dour, and treated according to merit.
And now, when the Caledonian Mer-
cury and Edinburgh Evening Courant,
are raised in their price one half-penny Perth, July 2. Z

each paper, which amounts to fix fhil

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moft fincerely,

1773.

their obedient humble fervt.

.

GEO. JOHNSTON.

For the PRINTER of the PERTH MAGAZINE.
SIR,

I obferve with pleasure by this day's cover, that you are refolved to continue
your entertaining Mifcellany; and wish you much fuccefs. As you are now
in a manner beginning bufinefs again, I think the following "Humorous
defcription of a Magazine Wright" which was addreffed to the Publishers
of the Court Magazine upon it's commencement, as it may be equally enter-
taining to your readers, and exemplary to your correfpondents, will be no
improper article in your first number. — If you are of the fame mind,
infert it and oblige,

Edinburgh, June 19th 1773.

Your conftant Reader,

Edinburgenfis.

A Humorous defcription of a MAGAZINE-WRIGHT.

As every undertaking defigned for

S every undertaking defigned for the entertainment of the public, demands variety, that only can be fupplied by a variety of correfpondents; I take the liberty of informing you, that I have wrought for several magazine shops with the greatest reputation, and have been looked upon by the book. fellers, as one of the completeft little fellows in the trade. I have had the writings of fome of the moft ingenious gentlemen of either univerfity fubmitted to my confideration, and perhaps if the authors of the impartial review, had attended to my advice, they might have been as much read, and not more defpifed than the Monthly and Criti cal are at this day. Once a-week I change my cloaths,whip to the Bedford,

affemble with the wits, and deliver my opinion with as much confidence as the beft of them. Very often I converse with fome of the principal actors of either houfe, and am generally once a feafon admitted into that fanctum fanctorum of the playhouse, the green room. An humble bottle of port will entitle me to a room at the Shakespeare; I am refpected by the waiters, faluted by the mafter, and diftinguished by the appel lation of the captain, or his honour, by every chairman round the garden. By this means, I am become acquainted with the moft neceffary articles of ma gazine-intelligence; the cabals of poli ticians; the difputes of wits; the wrangling of authors, and the fecrets of the theatres. Befides, I have an intimate acquaintance

acquaintance with a water-gruel poet, whofe fongs have long been the admiration of the water-gruel readers, and which, fet to music, will be no inelegant addition to your prefent ftock of poetry, and no little recommendation of your performance.

As you have publickly profeffed that your's will in general be fuperior to other magazines, and have requested.. the affiftance of the ingenious, I am in duced to hope there may be fome occafion for me, in the courfe of a work, calculated for the entertainment of the polite, and the amufement of the learned. I am above receiving pay for any of my productions, though I never refufe a trifling acknowledgment,by way of friendship, when I have conferred an obligation. Men and things have long been my ftudy, and I find every one in fome measure more or less refpected by the world, in proportion to the value he seems to fet upon himself;

for which reafon, no body will expect that I should fpeak in the leaft deroga- · tory of my own performances; or, by a pretended delicacy, feem to decline that approbation it has been the study of my life to deferve from the public.

One material advantage arising from my friendship, is, that my bookfeller is never difappointed, let his time be what it will. Many a relation have I given of the fecret machinations of our ene mies: of the refolutions of the StatesGeneral, and the motions of the Imperial army, at an hour's warning, when the wind has happened to be favourable over-night, to get ready for the prefs against the enfuing morning: befides, private letters from captain fuch a-one to his friend in London; and accounts from lieutenants and enfigns out of number. My prefent application for employment, does not arife from want of business;-No, no, I have bufinefs enough to do,‚—to live,—— without being obliged to write plays, or borrow from the wit of another kingdom, and pafs it as my own; without hiring a playhoufe during the fum

mer feafon; and thus becoming public-
ly contemptible. My only reason for
addreffing you in this manner, is, to
have the honour of appearing in a ma-
gazine that will be read at court, and
where my detached pieces may be more
eafily feen by the judicious, than in any
other monthly collection. But what
reafon foever you are pleased to affign
for my motives, I fhall readily agree to
your terms; for I hate to ftand with
my friends about punctilios; and if
there is any thing inconfiftent in my
letter, either attribute it to the ardour
of my impatience, that denies me time
to correct, or the greatnefs of my ge-
nius, that is above the drudgery of
fenfe; and you will much oblige,
Your humble fervant,

T. D.

To the PRINTER.
SIR,

Am a very plain and a very private member of the community; but tread on a worm, fays the old proverb, and you will find it fo far human, that it will turn, defenceless as it is, on its

enemy.

grant me,

After what I have faid above, you will not fuppofe I could have the folly to bufy myself with national conceros. No, Mr Printer, quite the reverse, L. affure you, has been my practice. This feflion of parliament has arrived, and the other feffions paffed away, and never did Zachary Skeleton into the pry whys or the wherefores of public matters. But I believe will you that tho' it is neceffary for only a few men, in comparison of the multitude, to act as politicians, that it is very neceffary all men fhould eat; and confequently allow, that whenever it was attempted to be made a queftion, whether Englishmen fhould be permitted to eat or no, that from the highest to the loweft every Englishman must be interested. Having gone thus far with me, it can fcarcely be called advancing another step, to conceive that even I,

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poor.

poor, honeft, hard-working Zac, fhould Of Equanimity, and the Government of

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Well, fure enough, from the moment that I was told the above faid bill had been laid before my betters, did I, with anxious eye, and clear wiped fpectacles, read this news paper and that newspaper, for intelligence.

"Yefterday, the following bills received the Royal Affent," faid the newspaper; pit-a-pat went my heart; here we have it, thought I; now for the bread; but alas! Mr Printer, unless it fhould fo have happened, that you have known what it is to want a loaf, it is impoffible to give you an idea of my diftrefs and difappointment, when, after reading that a bill for Inclosures had paffed, a bill for building new houfes had likewise paffed, that a bill for this body's emolument, and t'other body's new name or title, had alfo paffed, that not a word was to be met with of the bread bill. The other day, however, in downright defpair, having ftepped to the King's Head to take my afternoon's pint, I caft a fidelong fquint on the news papers, and what did I fee; why, that the bill for regulating the affize and making bread was re-committed for a certain day. That day, you may be fure, I gave my look out again, when I found that council had been heard in favour of the Bakers, and that the number of members on a divifion did not amount to forty; and now, O woe to us poor people, it is deferred again. Ah! Mr Printer, thefe fine folks do what they please with us. What pity it is that ftarving is not an infectious diforder; for then, who knows, how far fellow-fuffering might teach them fellow-feeling for ftarved wretches in general, and your miferable correfpon. dent in particular,

the paffions.

Equam memento rebus in arduis
Servare mentem.

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HOR.

O preferve the mind free from paffion, to be prefent to one's felfon all events, to hold the rudder with a steady hand, is the great art of life; by virtue of this alone we may be capable of fteering with fafety thro' the tumultuous ftorms of life, and amidst rocks and quickfands. This equality is fo abfo lutely neceffary to all both in high and low life, that whenever it is loft, the human reafon, for that time, fubfides, that great pilot is in confufion, and every thing goes wrong.

That this equanimity may be learnt and obtained by keeping a conftant guard upon our temper, although our natural conftitution may be irafcible and inflammatory, has been and may be proved by many examples. When the Phyfiognomift told Socrates his fortune before his difciples, from a curious enquiry into the lines and features of his face, he pronounced him to be greatly addicted to luft, revenge, violence, injuftice, in a word, a creature abfolutely a flave to his paffions. Upon this declaration of the fortune-teller, his fcholars burst into a loud laugh, and ridiculed the man for making fo wrong a judgment, a judgment fo immediately, fo directly contrary to the known and celebrated virtues and morals of that divine philofopher. But Socrates having firft gently reprehend. ed them for their unreafonable and injudicious raillery, faid: This man has spoke the truth; I am by nature what he has declared me to be by the rules of his art; I am fubject, by my natural conftitution to every vice; but I have rectified the errors of my nature by philofophy, and healed the malignant difpofition of my blood by virtue: from this example you may learn to what ZACHARY SKELETON. heights you may arife by a conftant adherence to philofophy, notwithstanding any obftacles or temptations whatsoever.

The

The firft great necessary towards attaining this equality of temper, is to check every the leaft motion that prefumes to disturb you, to endeavour to cool by reflection the leaft warmth that you may feel kindling within you, though on never fo juft a provocation; by this means you will, in time, learn never to give fire to your paffions on any occafion. You will, by this watch ful and faithful guard over yourself, instruct yourself so to fort and temper your ideas, that no fudden attack will ever surprise you, no injustice will be able to deprive you of the entire and cool ufe of your reafon. By this you ftand always armed and ready to defend yourself: by this you will be able to dispatch the most weighty, various, and intricate business without the leaft hurry or confufion; for heat is ever attended with diforder and irregularity, and therefore incapable of doing any thing right.

I never read that inimitable scene between Brutus and Caffius in the fourth act of Shakespear's tragedy of Julius Cafar, but I am furprifed to fee what a thorough infight that great poet had into all the paffions of the human mind. Caffius (of a fiery temper) works up, by degrees, his collegue Brutus, whofe natural difpofition was mild and cool into fome warmth; but towards the close of the fcene he cools again, and having quite recovered the ferenity of his mind, he fays to him,

Oh, Caffius, thou art yoaked with a lamb, That carries anger, as the flint bears fire, Which, much enforc'd, may fhew a hafty Spark,

But freight is cool again.

Gaffius, now quite fenfible of his error, confefs'd with great humility, that this is his complection, the error of his nature and fays,

Oh, Brutus,

Makes me forgetful.

Brutus replies feverly, but juftly;

-Yes, Caffius, and from henceforth, When you are over earnest with your Brutus,

He'll think your mother chides, and leave you fo.

Here we see the paffions alive and exposed in their contraft; we have an inftructive leffon in this fcene, a perfect image fet before us of the danger and folly of intemperate paffion, a leffon, that, if we pleafe, may be more useful than any that Seneca or Epictetus can prefcribe.

The thing neceffary therefore as we faid above, in order to preferve our equality of mind, is to avoid all perplexity and hurry; let us give leifure to our thoughts to range themfelves in exact order and difcipline, and this will probably prevent all confufion and furprife. I think it was Sir William Temple who, when he asked the grand penfionary De Witt, how he was able to tranfact fo many various and intricate affairs, fo clearly, expeditiously and fuccefsfully; the penfionary replied, I will tell you, Sir William, I have one rule only that carries me through it all:I do but one thing at once. I think therefore what is faid of Julius Cæfar, that he did write and dictate, and give verbal orders to his officers at the fame time, to be a fiction, or rather a piece of flattery to his me mory; fo many affairs of different na

tures muft fometimes break in upon the clearest head, and disturb one another; or at leaft, if fo great, fo uncom mon a genius had allowed himself a feparate hour for his feveral affairs, they would not have been the more unfuc cefsful on that account.

It is needlefs, it is too well known to repeat the mischiefs, that must accrue every hour to mankind for want of this equality of mind: paffion is the

Have you not love enough to bear with bane of bulinefs and an enemy to fo

me,

When that rafh humour which ther gave me

my mo

ciety; how frequent is it in the bufy world for the crafty and defigning to

watch

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