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Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old man.

Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight? Sir And. 'Faith I can cut a caper.

Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to't.


Sir And. And, I think, I have the back-trick, simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before them? are they like to take dust, like mistress Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? my very walk should be a jig; I would not so much as make water, but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was form'd under the star of a galliard.


Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-colour'd stock. Shall we set about some revels?

Sir To. What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus?

Sir And. Taurus? that's sides and heart. Sir To. No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee caper: ha! higher: ha, ha!—excellent! 249




The Palace. Enter VALENTINE, and VIOLA in Man's Attire.

Val. If the duke continue these favours towards you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanc'd; he hath known you but three days, and already you are no stranger.

Vio. You either fear his humour, or my negligence, call in question the continuance of his love: Is he inconstant, sir, in his favours?

that you

Val.. No, believe me.

Enter Duke, CURIO, and Attendants.

Vio. I thank you. Here comes the count.
Duke. Who saw Cesario, ho?

Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here.
Duke. Stand you a-while aloof.-Cesario,
Thou know'st no less but all; I have unclasp'd
To thee the book even of my secret soul:


Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto her;
Be not deny'd access, stand at her doors,

And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow,
Till thou have audience.

Vio. Sure, my noble lord,

If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow

As it is spoke, she never will admit me,



Duke. Be clamorous, and leap all civil bounds, Rather than make unprofited return.

Vio. Say, I do speak with her, my




Duke. O, then, unfold the passion of my love,
Surprize her with discourse of my dear faith :
It shall become thee well to act my woes;
She will attend it better in thy youth,
Than in a nuncio of more grave aspect.
Vio. I think not so, my lord.

Duke. Dear lad, believe it;
For they shall yet belie thy happy years,
That say, thou art a man: Diana's lip

Is not more smooth, and rubious; thy small pipe
Is as the maiden's organ, shrill, and sound,
And all is semblative a woman's part.

I know, thy constellation is right apt

For this affair :-Some four, or five, attend him ;
All, if you will; for I myself am best,

When least in company :-Prosper well in this,
And thou shalt live as freely as thy ford,

To call his fortunes thine.

Vio. I'll do my best,



To woo your lady: [Exit Duke.] yet, à barrful


Who-e'er I woo, myself would be his wife.




OLIVIA'S House. Enter MARIA, and Clown.

Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence.

Clo. Let her hang me: he that is well hang'd in this world, needs fear no colours.

Mar. Make that good.

Clo. He shall see none to fear.


Mar. A good lenten answer : I can tell thee where that saying was born, of, I fear no colours.

Clo. Where, good mistress Mary ?

Mar.. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

Clo. Well, God give them wisdom, that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents. Mar. Yet you will be hang'd, for being so long absent, or be turn'd away; Is not that as good as a hanging to you?


Clo. Marry, a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and, for turning away, let summer bear it


Mar. You are resolute then?

Clo. Not so neither: but I am resolv'd on two points.

Mar. That, if one break, the other will hold; or if both break, your gaskins fall.



Clo. Apt, in good faith; very apt! Well, go thy way; if sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.

Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o'that; here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best. [Exit.


Clo. Wit, and't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man: For what says Quinapalus? Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.God bless thee, lady!


Oli. Take the fool away.

Clo. Do you not hear, fellows? take away the lady. Oli. Goto, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you : besides, you grow dishonest.

Clo. Two faults, Madonna, that drink and good Counsel will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him: Any thing, that's mended, is but patch'd: virtue, that transgresses, is but patch'd with sin; and sin, that amends, is but patch'd with virtue: If that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? as there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower :--the lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.

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