wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me? Quick. That were a jest, indeed!—they have not so little grace, I hope :-that were a trick, indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves; her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page: and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and, truly, she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. medy. You must send her your page; no re Fal. Why, I will. Quick. Nay, but do so then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: I am yet thy debtor.-Boy,- Enter ROBIN. Go along with this woman.-[Exeunt MRS. QUICKLY and ROBIN. This news distracts me.-Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter BARDOLPH, with a Cup of Sack. Bard. Sir John, there's one Master Brook below, would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught of sack. Fal. Brook, is his name? Bard. Ay, sir. Fal. Call him in. [Exit BARDOLPH.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor.—Ah! . ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompass'd you? go to, via! Enter BARDOLPH, and FORD disguised. Ford. Bless you, sir. Fal. And you, sir: Would you speak with me? tion upon you, Fal. You're welcome; what's your will? Give us leave, drawer. [Exit BARDOLph. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you. Ford. Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are; the which hath something embolden'd me to this unseason'd intrusion; for, they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open. Fal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good Master Brook; I shall be glad to be your servant. Ford. Sir, I will be brief with you:-You have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own; that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know, how easy it is, to be such an offender. Fal. Very well, sir; proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, sir. Ford. have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doting observance; fee'd every slight occasion, that could but niggardly give me sight of her; briefly, I have pursued her, as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But, whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have receiv'd none: unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchas'd at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this: Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pur sues; Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues; Fal. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Fal. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose? Ford. Never. Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that, though she appear honest to me, yet, in other places, she enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. Fal. O, sir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it:-There is money; spend it, spend it: spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? your methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. of Ford. O, understand my drift: She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too strongly embattled against me: What say you to't, Sir John? your Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with money: next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O, good sir! Fal. Master Brook, I say, you shall. Ford. Want no money, Sir John, you shall want none. Fal. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook, you shall want none.-I shall be wtth her (I may tell you) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted with me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave her husband will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed. Ford. I am bless'd in your acquaintance.—Do you know Ford, sir. Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not-yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say, the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money: for the which, his wife seems to be well-favour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you might avoid him, if you saw him. Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns: Master Brook, thou shalt know, I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt sleep with his wife. Come to me soon at night:-Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style: thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold :come to me soon at night. [Exit FALSTAFF. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this!-My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who says, this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fix'd, the match is made. Would any man have thought this?-See the hell of having a false woman! my bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that E |