Reads Malbranche, Boyle, and Locke:
Yet in fome things methinks the fails;
'Twere well if she could pare her nails,
And wear a cleaner fmock.

Haughty and huge as High-Dutch bride,
Such naftiness and so much pride

Are oddly join'd by Fate:

On her large fquab you find her fpread,
Like a fat corpfe upon a bed,

That lies and stinks in ftate.

She wears no colours (fign of grace)
On any part except her face;

All white and black befide:

Dauntless her look, her gefture proud,
Her voice theatrically loud,

And mafculine her ftride.

So have I feen, in black and white,
A prating thing, a magpye hight,
Majestically stalk;

A ftately, worthless animal,

That plies the tongue, and wags the tail,
All flutter, pride, and talk.

PHRYNE.

HRYNE had talents for mankind,

PHRY

Open fhe was, and unconfin'd,

Like fome free port of trade:

Merchants unloaded here their freight,

And agents from each foreign ftate,
Here first their entry made.

Her learning and good breeding fuch,
Whether th' Italian or the Dutch,
Spaniards or French came to her;
To all obliging she'd appear:
'Twas Si Signior, 'twas Yaw Mynbeer,
'Twas S'il vous plaift, Monfieur.

Obfcure by birth, renown'd by crimes,
Still changing names, religions, climes,
At length the turns a bride:

In diamonds, pearls, and rich brocades,
She shines the first of batter'd jades,
And flutters in her pride,

So have I known thofe infects fair,
(Which curious Germans hold fo rare),

Still vary shapes and dyes;

Still gain new titles with new forms;

First grubs obscene, then wriggling worms,
Then painted butterflies.

5

15

20

VII.

DR. SWIFT.

The Happy Life of a COUNTRY-PARSON.

ARSON, these things in thy poffeffing
Are better than the Bishop's bleffing.

A wife that makes conferves; a steed
That carries double when there's need;
October store, and best Virginia,
Tithe-pig, and mortuary Guinea;
Gazettes fent gratis down, and frank'd,
For which thy patron's weekly thank'd;
A large concordance, bound long fince;
Sermons to Charles the Firft, when Prince:
A chronicle of ancient ftanding;
A Chryfoftom to fmooth thy band in.
The Polyglott----three parts,----my text,
Howbeit,likewife--now to my next:
Lo here the Septuagint,----and Paul,
To fum the whole,----the clofe of all.
He that has thefe, may pafs his life,
Drink with the 'fquire, and kifs his wife;
On Sundays preach, and eat his fill;
And faft on Fridays--if he will;

Toaft Church and Queen, explain the news,
Talk with church-wardens about pews,
Pray heartily for fome new gift,

And thake his head at Doctor S-----t.

SATIRES

SATIRES AND EPISTLES

OF

HORACE IMITATED;

AND

SATIRES OF DR DONNE VERSIFIED

THE

ADVERTISEMENT.

HE occafion of publishing thefe Imitations was the clamour raised on fome of my EpiAles. An answer from HORACE was both more full, and of more dignity, than any I could have made in my own perfon; and the example of much greater freedom in fo eminent a divine as Dr DONNE, feemed a proof with what indignation and contempt a Christian may treat vice or folly, in ever fo low, or ever so high a station. Both these authors were acceptable to the princes and minifiers under whom they lived. The fatires of Dr Donne I verfified, at the defire of the Earl of Oxford, while he was Lord Treasurer, and of the Duke of Shrewsbury, who had been Secretary of State; neither of whom looked upon a fatire on vitious courts as any reflection on those they ferved in. And indeed there is not in the world a greater error, VOL. II. than

E

[86]

than that which fools are fo apt to fall into, and knaves with good reafon to encourage, the miftaking a fatirift for a libeller; whereas to a true fatirift nothing is fo odious as a libeller, for the fame reafon as to a man truly virtuous nothing is fo hateful as a hypocrite.

Uni æquus Virtuti atque ejus Amicis.

ADVERTISEMENT

TO THE

First Publication of the following EPISTLE,

TH

HIS paper is a fort of bill of complaint, begun many years fince, and drawn up by fnatches, as the feveral occafions offered. I had no thoughts of publifhing it, till it pleafed fome perfons of rank and fortune, [the authors of Verfes to the imitator of Horace, and of an Epifle to a Doctor of Divinity from a Nobleman at Hampton-Court], to attack, in a very extraordinary manner, not only my writings, (of which, being public, the public is judge), but my perfon, morals, and family; whereof, to thofe who know me not, a truer information may be requifite. Being divided between the neceffity to fay fomething of myfelf, and my own laziness to undertake fo aukward a task, I thought it the shortest way to put the laft hand