LETTERS ON EDUCATION.

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By JOHN WITHERSPOON, D. D. late Prefident of the

DEAR SIR,

Tb

College of New-Jersey.

(Continued from Page 114.)

HE theory laid down in my laft letter, for eftablishing an early and abfolute authority over children, is of much greater moment than, perhaps, you will immediately apprehend. There is a great diversity in the temper and difpofition of children; and no lefs in the penetration, prudence, and refolution of parents. From all these circumftances, difficulties arife, which increase very fast as the work is delayed. Some children have naturally very stiff and obftinate tempers, and fome have a certain pride, or, if you please, greatness of mind, which makes them think it a mean thing to yield. This difpofition is often greatly ftrengthened in thofe of high birth, by the ideas of their own dignity and importance, inftilled into them from their mother's milk. I have known a boy not fix years of age, who made it a point of honour not to cry when he was beat, even by his parents. Other children have fo ftrong paffions, or fo great fenfibility, that if they receive correction, they will cry immoderately, and either be, or feem to be, affected to fuch a degree, as to endanger their health or life. Neither is it uncommon for the parents, in fuch a cafe, to give up the point, and if they do not afk pardon, at least they give very genuine marks of repentance and forrow for what they have done.

I have faid this is not uncommon, but I may rather afk you, whether you know any parents at all, who have fo much prudence and firmnefs as not to be difcouraged ⚫in the one cafe, or to relent in the other? At the fame time it must always be remembered, that the correction is wholly loft which does not produce abfolute fubmiffion: perhaps I may fay it is more than loft, because it

will irritate instead of reforming them, and will inftruct or perfect them in the art of overcoming their parents, which they will not fail to manifeft on a future opportunity. It is furprifing to think how early children will difcover the weak fide of their parents, and what ingenuity they will fhew in obtaining their favour or avoiding their displeasure. I think I have obferved a child in treaty or expoftulation with a parent, difcover more confummate policy, at feven years of age, than the parent himself, even when attempting to cajole him with artful evafions and fpecious promifes. On all thefe accounts, it must be a vaft advantage, that a habit of fubmiffion fhould be brought on fo early, that even memory itfelf fhall not be able to reach back to its beginning. Unless this is done, there are many cases in which, after the best management, the authority will be imperfect, and fome in which any thing that deferves that name will be impoffible. There are fome families, not contemptible either in ftation or character, in which the parents are literally and properly obedient to their children; are forced to do things against their will, and chidden, if they discover the leaft backwardness to comply. If you know none fuch, I am fure I do.

Let us now proceed to the best means of preferving authority, and the way in which it ought to be daily exercised. I will trace this to its very fource. Whatever authority you exercise over either children or fervants, or as a magiftrate over other citizens, it ought to be dictated by confcience, and directed by a fense of duty. Paffion or refentment ought to have as little place as poffible, or rather, to speak properly, though few can boast of having arrived at full perfection, it ought to have no place at all. Reproof or correction given in a rage is always confidered by him to whom it is adminiftered as the effect of weakness in you, and, therefore, the demerit of the offence will be either wholly denied or foon forgotten. I have heard fome parents often fay, that they cannot correct their children unless they are angry; to whom I have ufually anfwered, then you

ought not to correct them at all. Every one would be fenfible, that for a magiftrate to discover an intemperate rage in pronouncing fentence against a criminal, would be highly indecent. Ought not parents to punish their children in the fame difpaffionate manner? Ought they not to be at leaft equally concerned to discharge their duty in the best manner, in one cafe as in the other?

He who would preferve his authority over his children, fhould be particularly watchful of his own conduct.You may as well pretend to force people to love what is not amiable, as to reverence what is not refpectable. A decency of conduct, therefore, and dignity of deportment, is highly serviceable for the purpose we have now in view. Left this, however, fhould be mistaken, I must put in a caution, that I do not mean to recommend keeping children at too great a distance, by an uniform fternness and severity of carriage. This, I think, is not neceffary, even when they are young; and it may, to children of fome tempers, be very hurtful when they are old. By and by you fhall receive from me a quite contrary direction. But by dignity of carriage, I mean pa rents fhewing themfelves always cool and reasonable in their own conduct; prudent and cautious in their converfation with regard to the reft of mankind; not fretful or impatient, or paffionately fond of their own peculiarities; and, though gentle and affectionate to their children, yet avoiding levity in their prefence. This, probably, is the meaning of the precept of the ancients, Maxima debetur pueris reverentia. I would have them cheerful, yet ferene. In fhort, I would have their familiarity to be evidently an act of condefcenfion. Believe it, my dear Sir, that which begets efteem will not fail to produce fubjection.

That this may not be carried too far, I would recommend every expreffion of affection and kindness to children when it is fafe, that is to fay, when their behaviour is fuch as to deferve it. There is no oppofition at all between parental tenderness and parental authority. They are the beft fupports to each other. It is not only

lawful, but will be of fervice, that parents fhould dif→ cover the greatest fondnefs for children in infancy, and make them perceive diftinctly with how much pleasure they gratify all their innocent inclinations. This, however, must always be done when they are quiet, gentle, and fubmiffive in their carriage. Some have found fault with giving them, for doing well, little rewards of fweetmeats, and play-things, as tending to make them mercenary, and leading them to look upon the indulgence of appetite as the chief good. This, I apprehend, is ra ther refining too much; the great point is, that they be rewarded for doing good, and not for doing evil. When they are cross or froward, I would never buy peace, but force it. Nothing can be more weak and foolish, or more deftructive of authority, than when children are noify and in ill humour, to give them or promise them fomething to appease them. When the Roman emperors began to give penfions and fubfidies to the northern nations to keep them quiet, a man might have foreseen, without the spirit of prophecy, who would be master in a little time. The cafe is exactly the fame with children. They will foon avail themselves of this uneasiness in their parents, command favours inftead of begging them, and be infolent when they should be grateful.

The fame conduct ought to be uniformly preferved as children advance in years and understanding. Let parents try to convince them how much they have their real intereft at heart. Sometimes children will make a request, and receive a hafty or a froward denial; yet, upon reflection, the thing appears not to be unrealonable, and, finally, it is granted; and, whether it be right or wrong, fometimes by the force of importunity, it is extorted. If parents expect either gratitude or fubmiffion for favours fo ungraciously beftowed, they will find themselves egregioufly mistaken. It is their duty to profecute, and it ought to be their comfort to fee, the happinefs of their children; and therefore they ought to lay it down as a rule, never to give a fudden or hafty refufal; but, when any thing is proposed to them, confider

deliberately and fully whether it is proper and after that either grant it cheerfully, or deny it firmly.

It is a noble fupport of authority, when it is really and vifibly directed to the most important end. My meaning in this, I hope, is not obfcure. The end I confider as most important is, the glory of God in the eternal happiness and falvation of children. Whoever be lieves in a future ftate whoever has a juft fenfe of the importance of eternity to himfelf, cannot fail to have a like concern for his offspring. This fhould be his end both in inftruction and government; and when it visibly appears that he is under the constraint of confcience, and that either reproof or correction are the fruit of fanctified love, it will give them irresistible force. I will tell you here, with all the fimplicity neceffary in fuch a fituation, what I have often faid in my courfe of paftoral vifitation in families, where there is, in many cafes, through want of judgment, as well as want of principle, a great neglect of authority. "Ufe your authority for God, and he will fupport it. Let it always be seen that you are more difpleafed at fin than at folly. What a fhame is it, that if a child fhall, through the inattention and levity of youth, break a difh, or a pane of the window, by which you may lose the valué of a few pence, you should storm and rage at him with the utmoft fury, or perhaps beat him with unmerciful feverity; but if he tells a lie, or takes the name of God in vain, or quarrels with his neighbours, he shall eafily obtain pardon; or, perhaps, if he is reproved by others, you will juftify him, and take his part.

You cannot easily believe that it gives to family authority, when it appears vifibly to proceed from a fenfe of duty, and to be itfelf an act of obedience to God. This will produce coolness and compofure in the manner, it will direct and enable a parent to mix every expreffion of heartfelt tenderness with the most severe and needful reproofs. It will make it quite confiftent to affirm, that the rod itself is an evidence of love, and that it is true of every pious parent on earth, which is VOL. II. No. 3.

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