LADY Why wilt thou needs have it to be my husband? he never had any reason to be offended at me.. I always loved him while he was living, and should prefer him to any man, were he fo ftill. Mr. Tinfel is indeed very idle in his talk, but I fancy, Abigal, a difcreet woman might reform him. ABIGAL. That's a likely matter indeed! did you ever hear of a woman who had power over a man, when she was his wife, that had none while fhe was his mistress! Oh! there's nothing in the world improves a man in his complaifance like marriage! LADY. He is indeed, at prefent, too familiar in his converfation. ABIGAL. Familiar! Madam, in troth, he's downright rude. LADY. But that you know, Abigal, fhows he has no diffimulation in him-Then he is apt to jeft a little too much upon grave fubjects. ABIGA L. Grave fubjects! he jefts upon the church. LADY. But that you know, Abigal, may be only to fhew his wit- Then it must be owned, he's extremely talka tive. ABIGAL." Talkative d'ye call it! he's downright impertinent. LADY. But that you know Abigal, is a fign he has been ufed to good company-Then indeed he is very pofitive. ABIGA L. fay. Pofitive! why he contradicts you in every thing you LADY. But then you know, Abigal, he has been educated at the inns of court. ABIGAL. A bleffed education indeed! it has made him forget his catechifm! my ABIGA L. My dear widow, marry come up! LADY. [Afide Let him alone, Abigal, fo long as he does not call me dear wife, there's no harm done. TINSEL. I have been most ridiculously diverted fince I left you -your fervants have made a convert of my booby. His head is fo filled with this foolish story of a drummer, that I expect the rogue will be afraid hereafter to go upon a meffage by moon-light. LADY. 'Ah, Mr. Tinfel, what a lofs of let-doux would that be to many a fine lady! ABIGAL. Then you ftill believe this to be a foolish ftory? I thought my Lady had told you, that she had heard it herself. Why, you would not perfuade us out of our fenfes. Admirably rallied! that laugh is unanfwerable! now I'll be hanged if you could forbear being witty upon me, if I fhould tell you I heard it no longer ago than laft night. i Fancy! TINSEL. LADY. But what if I fhould tell you my maid was with me! TINSE L. Vapours! vapours! pray, my dear widow, will you anfwer me one question?—had you ever this noife of a drum in your head, all the while your husband was · living? LADY. And pray, Mr. Tinfel, will you let me ask you another queftion; do you think we can hear in the country, as well as you do in town? TINSEL. A Believe me, Madam, I could prefcribe you a cure for thefe imaginations. ABIGAL. Don't tell my Lady of imaginations, Sir, I have heard it myself. TINSEL. Hark thee, child-art thou not an old maid? ABIGA L. Sir, if I am, it is my own fault. K 3 TIN TINSEL. Whims! freeks! megrims! indeed, Mrs. Abigal. Marry, Sir, by your talk one would believe you thought every thing that was good is a megrim. LADY. Why truly I don't very well understand what you mean by your doctrine to me in the garden juft now, that every thing we saw was made by chance. ABIGAL. A very pretty fubject indeed for a lover to divert his miftrefs with. LADY. But I fuppofe that was only a taste of the converfation you would entertain me with after marriage. TINSEL. Oh, I fhall then have time to read you fuch lectures of motions, atoms, and nature that you fhall learn to think as freely as the beft of us, and be convinced in lets than a month, that all about us is chance-work. LADY. You are a very complaifant perfon indeed; and fo you would make your court to me, by perfuading me that I was made by chance! TINSEL. す Ha, ha, ha! well faid, my dear! why, faith, thou wert a very lucky hit, that's certain. LADY. Pray, Mr. Tinfel, where did you learn this odd way of talking? TINSEL. Ah, widow, 'tis your country innocence makes you think it an odd way of talking. LADY. Though you give no credit to ftories of apparitions, hope you believe there are fuch things as fpirits! I fancy you don't believe women have fouls, d'ye, Sir? Foolish enough! TINSE L. LADY. I vow, Mr. Tinfel, I'm afraid malicious peeple will fay I'm in love with an atheist. TINSEL. Oh, my dear, that's an old fafhion'd word-I'm a free-thinker, child. ABIGA L. I am fure you are a free-speaker. LADY. Really, Mr. Tinfel, confidering that you are fo fine a gentleman, I'm amazed where you got all this learning! I wonder it has not fpoiled your breeding. TINSEL To tell you the truth, I have not time to look into thefe dry matters myfelf, but I am convinced by four or five learned men, whom I fometimes overhear at a Coffee-house I frequent, that our forefathers were a pack of affes, that the world has been in an error for fome thoufands of years, and that all the people upon earth, excepting those two or three worthy gentleinen, are impofed upon, cheated, bubbled, abufed, bainboozled ABIGA L. Madam, how can you hear fuch a profligate? he talks like the London prodigal. LADY. Why really, I'm a thinking, if there be no fuch things as fpirits, a woman has no occafion for marrying-he need not be afraid to lie by herself. TINSE L. Ah! my dear! are hufbands good for nothing but to K. 4. frighten |
