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frighten away fpirits ? doft thou think I could not inAtruct thee in feveral other comforts of matrimony? LADY.
Ah! but you are a man of fo much knowledge that you would always be laughing at my ignorance-you learned men are so apt to defpife one!
No, child! I'd teach thee my principles, thou should'st be as wife as I am-in a week's time.
Do you think your principles would make a woman the better wife?
Pr'ythee, widow, don't be queer.
I love a gay temper, but I would not have you rally things that are ferious.
Well enough, faith! where's the jest of rallying any thing else!
Ah, Madam, did you ever hear Mr. Fantome talk at this rate? Afide.
But where's this ghoft! the fon of a whore of a drummer? I'd fain hear him methinks.
A BIGA L.
Pray, Madam, don't fuffer him to give the ghoft fuch ill language, especially when you have reafon to believe it is my m after.
That's well enough faith, Nab; doft thou think thy mafter is fo unreasonable, as to continue his claim to his relict after his bones are laid? Pray, widow, remember the words of your contract, have fulfilled them to a tittle did not you marry Sir George to the tune of until death us do part ?
I muft not hear Sir George's memory treated in fo flight a manner this fellow muit have been at fome pains to make himself fuch a finished coxcomb.
Give me but poffeffion of your perfon, and I'll whirl you up to town for a winter, and cure you at once. Oh! I have known many a country Lady come to Lon lon with frightful ftories of the hall-houfe being haunted, of fairies, fpirits, and witches; that by the time fhe had seen a comedy, played at an affembly, and ambled in a ball or two, has been fo little afraid of bugbears, that she has ventured home in a chair at all hours of the night. to A BIG ASL. I Hum-fauce -box.:
'Tis the folitude of the country that creates these whimfies; there was never fuch a thing as a ghoft heard of at London, except in the play-houfe-Oh, we'd pass all our time at London. 'Tis the fcene of pleafure and diverfions, where there's fomething to amufe you every hour of the day. Life's not life in the country. LADY co
Well then, you have an opportunity of fhewing the fincerity of that love to me which you profefs. You may give a proof that you have an affection to my perfon, not my jointure.
Your jointure! how can you think me fuch a dog! but child, won't your jointure be the fame thing in London as in the country?
No, you're deceived! you must know it is fettled on me by marriage-articles, on condition that I live in this old manfion-house, and keep it up in repair.
That's well put, Madam,
Why, faith, I have been looking upon this houfe, and think it is the prettieft habitation I ever faw in my life.. LADY,
Ay, but then this cruel drum !
Something fo venerable in it!
Ay, but the drum!'.
For my part, I like this Gothic way of building better than any of our new orders-it would be a thoufand pities it should fall to ruin.
Ay, but the drum!
How pleasantly we two could pass our time in this delicious fituation! Our lives would be a continued dream of happiness. Come, faith, widow, let's go upon the leads, and take a view of the country.
Ay, but the drum ! the drum!
My dear, take my word for't, it's all fancy: befides fhould he drum in thy very bed-chamber, I should only hug thee the closer
АСТ II. SCENE I
SCENE opens, and difcovers Vellum in hie
HIS Letter aftonifheth; may I believe my own
or rather my To
• Vellum, Efq; fteward to the Lady Truman.
Doubt not but you will be glad to hear your mafter is alive, and defigns to be with you in half an " hour. The report of my being flain in the Netherlands has, I find, produced foine diforders in my family. I ⚫ am now at the George-Inn; if an old man with a gray beard in a black cloke, enquires after you, give him. • admittance. He paffes for a conjurer, but is really.
Your faithful friend,
P. S. Let this be a fecret, and ́ you account in it.'.
fliall find your
This amazeth me! and yet the reafons why I fhould be--Heve he is still living are manifold-Firft, because this has often been the cafe of other military adventurers.
Secondly, because the news of his death was first published in Dyer's Letter.
Thirdly, because this letter can be written by none but himfelf-I know his hand, and manner of spelling. Fourthly,
Sir, here's a ftrange old gentleman that afks for you; he fays he's a conjurer, but he looks very suspicious i I wish he ben't a jefuit.
Admit him immediately.
I wish he ben't a jefuit; but he says he's nothing but a conjurer.
He fays right he is no more than a conjurer. Bring him in, and withdraw. [Exit Butler
And fourthly, as I was saying, e aufe
Enter BUTLER with Sir GEORGE.
Sir, here is the conjurer--what a devilish long beard he has! 1 warrant it has been growing thefe hundred years. [Afide, Exit.
Dear Vellum, you have received my letter; but beford we proceed lock the door.
It is his voice.
[Shuts the door.
In the next place help me off with this cumbersome