TRIVIA. Book II. When fishy stalls with double store are laid ; Here Arundel's fam'd structure rear'd its frame, And Raphael's fair design, with judgment charmid, Now hangs the bellman's song, and pasted here of rigid zealots to delicious fasts; The color'd prints of Overton appear. Wednesdays and Fridays, you 'll observe from hence, where statues breath'd the works of Phidias' hands, • Days when our sires were doom'd to abstinence. A wooden pump, or lonely watch-house, stands. When dirty waters from balconies drop, There Essex' stately pile adorn’d the shore, Successive cries the seasons' change declare, Beneath his eye declining art revives, Walnuts the fruiterer's hand in Autumn stain, What though no coach to frequent visit rolls, Blue plums and juicy pears augment his gain : Nor for your shilling chairmen sling their poles ; Next oranges the longing boys entice, Yet still your nerves rheumatic pains desy, Nor lazy jaundice dulls your saffron eye ; Of burning gout, or sedentary stone. Or in the leaky boat the Thames divide; The glasses shatters, and his charge o'erturns. shower, Where the laborious beggar sweeps the road. In gilded chariot loll; he with disdain Whate'er you give, give ever at demand, Views spatter'd passengers all drench'd in rain. Nor let old age long stretch his palsied hand. With mud fill'd high, the rumbling cart draws near; Those who give late are importun'd each day, Now rule thy prancing steeds, lac'd charioteer: And still are teas'd, because they still delay. The dustman lashes on with spiteful rage, If e'er the miser durst his farthings spare, His ponderous spokes thy painted wheel engage; He thinly spreads them through the public square, Crush'd is thy pride, down falls the shrieking beau, Where, all beside the rail, rang'd beggars lie, The slabby pavement crystal fragments strow; And from each other catch the doleful cry; Black floods of mire th' embroider'd coat disgrace, With Heaven, for two-pence,cheaply wipes his score, And mud enwraps the honors of his face. Lists up his eyes, and hastes to beggar more. So, when dread Jove the son of Phæbus hurl'd, Where the brass-knocker, wrapt in flannel band, Scar'd with dark thunder, to the nether world, And the Sun's beamy ruin gilds the plains. From hence he learns the seventh-born doctor's Come, Fortescue, sincere, experienc'd friend, Such Newgate's copious market best affords. Thames-street gives cheeses ; Covent-garden, fruits ; suits. Behold that narrow street which steep descends, Hence may'st thou well supply the wants of life, Whose building to the slimy shore extends ; Support thy family, and clothe thy wife. 2 A Volumes on shelter'd stalls expanded lie, Summon at once thy courage, rouse thy care, And various science lures the learned eye; Stand firm, look back, be resolute, beware. The bending shelves with ponderous scholiasts Forth issuing from steep lanes, the collier's steeds groan, Drag the black load ; another cart succeeds ; And deep divines, to modern shops unknown ; Team follows team, crowds hea p'd on crowds appear, Here, like the bee, that on industrious wing And wait impatient till the road grow clear. Collects the various odors of the Spring, Now all the pavement sounds with tramping feet, Walkers at leisure, learning's flowers may spoil, And the mix'd hurry barricades the street. Nor watch the wasting of the midnight oil; Entangled here, the wagon's lengthen'd team May morals snatch from Plutarch's tatter'd page, Cracks the tough harness; here a ponderous beam A mildew'd Bacon, or Stagyra's sage: Lies overturn’d athwart; for slaughter fed, Here sauntering prentices o'er Oiway weep, Here lowing bullocks raise their horned head. O'er Congreve smile, or over D'Ursey sleep; Now oaths grow loud, with coaches coaches jar, Pleas'd semptresses the Lock's fam'd Rape unfold; And the smart blow provokes the sturdy war; And Squirts* read Garth, till a pozenis grow cold. From the high box they whirl the thong around, O Lintot! let my labors obvious lie, And with the twining lash their shins resound: Rang'd on thy stall, for every curious eye! Their rage ferments, more dangerous wounds they So shall the poor these precepts gratis know, try, And to my verse their fulure safeties owe. And the blood gushes down their painful eye. What walker shall his mean ambition fix And now on foot the frowning warriors light, On the false lustre of a coach and six ? And with their ponderous fists renew the fight; Let the vain virgin, lur'd by glaring show, Blow answers blow, their cheeks are smeard with Sigh for the liveries of th' embroider'd beau. blood, See yon bright chariot on its braces swing, Till down they fall, and grappling roll in mud. With Flanders mares, and on an arched spring. So, when two boars, in wild Ytene * bred, That wretch, lo gain an equipage and place, Or on Westphalia's fattening chestnuts fed, Betray'd his sister to a lewd embrace ; Gnash their sharp tusks, and, rous'd with equal fire, This coach, that with the blazon'd 'scutcheon glows, Dispute the reign of some luxurious mire ; Vain of his unknown race, the coxcomb shows. In the black flood they wallow o'er and o'er, Here the brib'd lawyer, sunk in velvet, sleeps ; Till their arm'd jaws distil with foam and gore. The starving orphan, as he passes, weeps ; Where the mob gathers, swiftly shoot along, There flames a fool, begirt with tinsel slaves, Nor idly mingle in the noisy throng : Who wastes the wealth of a whole race of knaves; Lurd by the silver hilt, amid the swarm, That other, with a clustering train behind, The subtle artist will thy side disarm. Owes his new honors to a sordid mind! Nor is the flaxen wig with safety worn; This next in courl-fidelity excels, High on the shoulder, in a basket borne, The public rifles, and his country sells. Lurks the sly boy, whose hand, to rapine bred, May the proud chariot never be my fate, Plucks off the curling honors of thy head. If purchas'd at so mean, so dear a rate ! Here dives the skulking thief, with practis'd sleight, Or rather give me sweet content on foot, And unfelt fingers make thy pocket light. Wrapt in my virtue, and a good surtout! Where's now the watch, with all its trinkets, flown? And thy late snuff-box is no more thy own. But, lo! his bolder thefts some tradesman spies, Swift from his prey the scudding lurcher flies; Of walking the Streets by Night. Dext'rous he 'scapes the coach with nimble bounds, O Trivia, goddess ! leave these low abodes, Whilst every honest tongue “stop thief!" resounds. And traverse o'er the wide ethereal roads ; So speeds the wily fox, alarm'd by sear, Celestial queen! put on thy robes of light, Who lately filch'd the turkey's callow care ; Now Cynthia nam’d, fair regent of the night. Hounds following hounds grow louder as he flies, At sight of thee, the villain sheathes his sword, And injur'd tenants join the hunter's cries. Nor scales the wall, to steal the wealthy hoard. Breathless, he stumbling falls. Ill-fated boy! O may thy silver lamp from Heaven's high bower Why did not honest work thy youth employ? Direct my footsteps in the midnight hour! Seiz'd by rough hands, he's draggd amid the rous When Night first bids the twinkling stars appear, And stretch'd beneath the pump's incessant spout Or with her cloudy vest enwraps the air, Or plung'd in miry ponds, he gasping lies, Then swarms the busy street; with caution tread, Mud chokes his mouth, and plasters o'er his eyes. Where the shop-windows + falling threat thy head; Let not the ballad-singer's shrilling strain Now laborers home return, and join their strength Amid the swarm thy listening ear detain: To bear the tottering plank, or ladder's length; Guard well thy pocket; for these Syrens stand Still fix thy eyes intent upon the throng, To aid the labors of the diving hand ; And, as the passes open, wind along. Confederate in the cheat, they draw the throng, Where the fair columns of St. Clement stand, And cambric handkerchiefs reward the song. Whose straiten'd bounds encroach upon the Strand ; But soon as coach or cart drive ratiling on, Where the low penthouse bows the walker's head, The rabble part, in shoals they backward run. And the rough pavement wounds the yielding tread; So Jove's loud bolts the mingled war divide, Where not a post protects the narrow space, And Greece and Troy retreat on either side And, strung in twines, combs dangle in thy face ; If the rude throng pour on with furious pace, And hap to break thee from a friend's embrace, * An apothecary's boy, in the Dispensary. * A species of window now almost forgotten. N. • New-Forest in Hampshire, anciently so called. Swop short; nor struggle through the crowd in vain, The laws have set him bounds; his servile feet When in long rank a train of torches flame, Whene'er I pass, their poles (unseen below) I If wheels bar up the road, where streets are crost, He ne'er the threat or harsh command obeys, Stay till afar the distant wheel you hear, Like dying thunder in the breaking air; Let constant vigilance thy footsteps guide, Pent round with perils, in the midst you stand, Where wilt thou turn? ah! whilber wilt thou fly? Be sure observe where brown Ostrea slands, Who boasts her shelly ware from Wallfeet sands; Though you through cleanlier alleys wind by day, while the salt liquor streams between her hands. The man had sure a palate cover'd o'er First broke the oozy oyster's pearly coat, Where Lincoln's-inn, wide space, is rail'd around, Are daily ransack'd for the bill of fare! When from high spouts the dashing torrents fall, throng Draggled all o'er, and soak'd in fonds of rain. Than in the doubtful quarrel risk thy blood. Where three roads join'd, he met his sire un. known; Let not the chairman, with assuming stride, Each claim'd the way, their swords the strife decide Hence sprung the fatal plague that thinn'd thy His numerous lowing herd; his herds he sold, reign, And his deep leathernd pocket bagg’d with gold. Thy cursed incest! and thy children slain! Drawn by a fraudful nymph, he gaz'd, he sigh'd : Hence wert thou doom'd in endless night to stray Unmindful of his home, and distant bride, Thro' Theban streets, and cheerless grope thy way. She leads the willing victim to his doom, Contemplate, mortal, on thy fleeting years; Through winding alleys, to her cobweb room. See, with black train the funeral pomp appears! Thence thro' the streets he reels from post to post, Whether some heir attends in sable state, Valiant with wine, nor knows his treasure lost. And mourns, with outward grief, a parent's fate; The vagrant wretch th' assembled watchmen spies Or the fair virgin, nipt in beauty's bloom, He waves his hanger, and their poles defies ; A crowd of lovers follow to her tomb: Deep in the round-house pent, all night he snores, Why is the hearse with 'scutcheons blazon'd round, And the next morn in vain his fate deplores. And with the nodding plume of ostrich crown'd ? Ah, hapless swain! unus'd to pains and ills! No: the dead know it not, nor profit gain; Canst thou forego roast-beef for nauseous pills ! It only serves to prove the living vain. How wilt thou lift to Heaven thy eyes and hands, How short is life! how frail is human trust! When the long scroll the surgeon's fecs demands ! Is all this pomp for laying dust to dust ? Or else (ye gods, avert that worst disgrace!) Where ihe nail'd hoop defends the painted stall, Thy ruin'd nose falls level with thy face ! Brush not thy sweeping skirt too near the wall: Then shall thy wise thy lothesome kiss disdain, Thy heedless sleeve will drink the color d oil, And wholesome neighbors from thy mug refrain. And spot indelible thy pocket soil. Yet there are watchmen, who with friendly light Has not wise Nature strung the legs and feet Will teach thy reeling steps to tread aright; With firmest nerves, design'd to walk the street ? For sixpence will support thy helpless arm, Has she not given us hands to grope aright, And home conduct thee, safe from nightly harm Amidst the frequent dangers of the night? But, if they shake their lanterns, from afar And think'st thou not the double nostril meant, To call their brethren to confederate war, To warn from oily woes by previous scent? When rakes resist their power; if hapless you Who can the various city frauds* recite, Should chance to wander with the scouring crew, With all the petty rapines of the night? Though Fortune yield thee captive, ne'er despair, Who now the guinea-drupper's bait regards, But seek the constable's considerate ear; Trick'd by the sharper's dice, or juggler's cards ? He will reverse the watchman's harsh decree, Why should I warn thee ne'er to join the fray, Mov'd by the rhetoric of a silver fee. Where the sham quarrel interrupts the way? Thus, would you gain some favorite courtier's word, Lives there in these our days so soft a clown, Fee not the petty clerks, but bribe my lord. Brav'd by the bully's oaths, or threatening frown? Now is the time that rakes their revels keep; I need not strict enjoin the pocket's care, Kindlers of riot, enemies of sleep. When from the crowded play thou lead'st the fair ; His scatter'd pence the flying nicker* flings. Who has not here or watch or snuff-box lost, And with the copper shower the casement rings. Or handkerchiefs that India's shuttle boast ? Who has not heard the scourer's midnight same? 0! may thy virtue guard thee through the roads Who has not trembled at the Mohock's name? Of Drury's mazy courts, and dark abodes ! Was there a watchman took his hourly rounds, The harlots' guilesul paths, who nightly stand Safe from their blows, or new-invented wounds ? Where Catharine-street descends into the Strand! I pass their desperate deeds, and mischiefs done, Say, vagrant Muse, their wiles and subtle arts, Where from Snow-hill black steepy torrents run; To lure the strangers' unsuspecting hearts : How matrons, hoop'd within the hogshead's womb, So shall our youth on healthful sinews tread, Were tumbled furious thence; the rolling tomb And city cheeks grow warm with rural red. O'er the stones thunders, bounds from side to side ; 'Tis she who nightly strolls with sauntering pace, So Regulus, to save his country, died. No stubborn stays her yielding shape embrace ; Where a dim gleam the paly lantern throws Beneath the lamp her tawdry ribbons glare, O'er the mid pavement, heapy rubbish grows; The new-sconr'd manteau, and the slattern air; Or arched vaults their gaping jaws extend, High-draggled petticoats her travels show, Or the dark caves to common shores descend, And hollow cheeks with artful blushes glow; Oft by the winds extinct the signal lies, With flattering sounds she soothes the credulous Or smother'd in the glimmering socket dies, Ere Night has half roll'd round her ebon throne; "My noble captain! charmer! love! my dear!" In the wide gulf the shatter'd coach, o'erthrown, In riding-hood near tavern-doors she plies, Sinks with the snorting steeds; the reins are broke, Or muffled pinners hide her livid eyes. And from the crackling axle flies the spoke. With empty band box she delights to range, So, when fam'd Eddystone's far-shooting ray, And feigns a distant errand from the 'Change : That led the sailor through the stormy way, Nay, she will ost the Quaker's hood profane, Was from its rocky roots by billows torn, And trudge demure the rounds of Drury-lane. And the high turret in the whirlwind borne ; She darts from sarcenet ambush wily leers, Fleets bulg'd their sides against the craggy land, Twitches thy sleeve, or with familiar airs And pitchy ruins blacken'd all the strand. Her fan will pat thy cheek; these snares disdain, Who then through night would hire the harness'd Nor gaze behind thee, when she turns again. steed? I knew a yeoman, who, for thirst of gain, And who would choose the rattling wheel for speed ? To the great city drove, from Devon's plain, * Gentlemen who delighted to break windows with • Various cheats formerly in practice. hall-pence. ear, MISCELLANEOUS. But hark! Distress, with screaming voice, draws SWEET WILLIAM'S FAREWELL TO nigher, And wakes the slumbering street with cries of fire. BLACK-EYED SUSAN. All in the Downs the feet was moor'd, The streamers waving in the wind, When Black-ey'd Susan came aboard. “Oh! where shall I my true-love find ? Tell me, ye jovial sailors, tell me true, If my sweet William sails among the crew.” William, who high upon the yard The fireman sweats beneath his crooked arms; Rock'd with the billow to and fro, A leathern casque his venturous head defends, Soon as her well-known voice he heard, He sigh'd, and cast his eyes below: And (quick as lightning) on the deck he stands. The Dardan hero bore his aged sire. So the sweet lark, high pois'd in air, See, forceful engines spout their levell'd streams, Shuts close his pinions to his breast, To quench the blaze that runs along the beams ; (If chance his mate's shrill call he hear) The grappling hook plucks rafters from the walls, And drops at once into her nest. The noblest captain in the British fleet “O Susan, Susan, lovely dear, Is cover'd with a sanguine dreadful light. My vows shall ever true remain; 'Twas such a light involv'd thy towers, O Rome! Let me kiss off that falling tear; We only part to meet again. Change, as ye list, ye winds; my heart shall be Hark! the drum thunders! far, ye crowds, retire : The faithful compass that still points to thee. Behold! the ready match is tipt with fire, “ Believe not what the landmen say The nitrous store is laid, the smutty train, With running blaze, awakes the barreld grain ; Who tempt with doubts thy constant mind. They'll tell thee, sailors, when away, In every port a mistress find : Yes, yes, believe them when they tell thee so, So, when the years shall have revolv'd the date, For thou art present wheresoe'er I go. “ If to fair India's coast we sail, Thy eyes are seen in diamonds bright; Thy breath is Afric's spicy gale, Thy skin is ivory so white. Thus every beauteous object that I view, What riots seen, what bustling crowds I bore, Wakes in my soul some charm of lovely Sue. How oft I cross'd where carts and coaches roar; “Though battle call me from thy arms, Yet shall I bless my labors, if mankind Their future safety from my dangers find. Let not my pretty Susan mourn; Thus the bold traveller (inur'd to toil, Though cannons roar, yet, safe from harms, William shall to his dear return. Love turns aside the balls that round me fly, Dark Greenland's mountains of eternal frost; Lest precious tears should drop from Susan's eye Whom Providence, in length of years, restores To the wish'd harbor of his native shores) The boatswain gave the dreadful word, Sets forth his journals to the public view, The sails their swelling bosom spread ; To caution, by his woes, the wandering crew. No longer must she stay aboard : They kiss'd, she sigli’d, he hung his head. Finish'd, and ripe for immortality. Her lessening boat unwilling rows to land : Death shall entomb in dust this mouldering frame, Adieu!" she cries; and wav'd her lily hand. A BALLAD, FROM THE WHAT-D'YE-CALL-IT. With hollow blasts of wind, A damsel lay deploring, • Probably Ward and Gildon.-N. All on a rock reclin'd. 2 A 2 |